theresafraser.com

Retrieved from : http://www.cambridgetimes.ca/opinions/article/180374

Don’t dispute resiliency of kids

By THERESA FRASER, GUEST COLUMN

I have to respectfully disagree with Mr. Loik’s recent article entitled, “Life….as painful as high school”. Grade school can be tough and high school even tougher. However, if our downfall is sealed with no hope of change – why bother?

I work with kids every day as a therapist who have had horrific life experiences. Their trauma can be incapacitating and it can look to those around them that they will be or feel “stuck” forever.

Yet with trauma treatment, shifts can occur so that they do not feel that the past defines their present or seals their future. One also cannot dispute the power of resiliency in a child’s life.

Social worker Nana Henderson of the United States has published her wheel of resilience to help teachers, social workers and families understand how protective factors can help folks bounce back from life’s disappointments, challenges and traumas.

She is going to present this model again at the National Institute for Trauma and Loss’ summer institute in Detroit this July.

This wheel includes the following six factors: provide opportunities for meaningful participation, increase opportunities for pro-social bonding, set clear and consistent boundaries, teach life skills, provide caring and support, and finally set and communicate high expectations – which simply means that we share with children our belief in their success in a way that does not pressure them.

Perhaps British singing sensation Susan Boyle didn’t have any teachers, coaches or family who helped to foster these resiliency factors for her. I have to believe that it is never too late.

Some of us do have it tougher than others and all too often we see generational patterns of abuse, neglect, domestic violence and unidentified or untreated mental health issues and addiction problems.

However, the old adage that it takes a village to raise a child continues to be true. We need to care about each other and given we have as of late experienced some tough economic times, this life philosophy could not be truer.

This is where providing opportunities for meaningful participation, as well as pro-social bonding comes in.

We each need to go the extra step for others, model respectful and empathetic communication and give our time to neighbours or organizations so we connect with the local Susan Boyles.

Theresa Fraser is a local practicing Play Therapist and recent published author of the book entitled, Billy Had to Move which can be purchased from Amazon.ca . You can find out more about this children’s book by visiting Theresa’s website at: www.theresafraser.com

The following definition of Play Therapy was retrieved from http://www.a4pt.org/ps.playtherapy.cfm

Play therapy is " the systematic use of a theoretical model to establish an interpersonal process wherein trained play therapists use the therapeutic powers of play to help clients prevent or resolve psychosocial difficulties and achieve optimal growth and development."

Resiliency

 Email Theresa at theresafraser@rogers.com and share what experiences you feel contribute to the resiliency of children.